I found in a blog post by Shivanand Pattanshetti the perfect sentence to sum it up.. ‘’Money is just a proxy for real goods and services. The value of money and the relative costs of goods and services are determined by demand and supply.’’

Is there a reason for governments to be in charge of money?” asks Paul Kemp-Robertson Judging by the new raft of alternative currencies—from digital coins to point systems that reward customers of a certain brand—the answer might someday be “no.” As Kemp-Robertson suggests, many people seem to trust brands more than governments these days. Since currency is, in a sense, an expression of the brand value of a government, why shouldn’t commercial brands also make currency?

“An alternative currency (or private currency) is any currency used as an alternative to the dominant national or multinational currency systems. They are created by an individual, corporation, or organization, they can be created by national, state, or local governments, or they can arise naturally as people begin to use a certain commodity as a currency. Mutual credit is a form of alternative currency, and thus any form of lending that does not go through the banking system can be considered a form of alternative currency.

When used in combination with or when designed to work in combination with national or multinational fiat currencies they can be referred to as complementary currency. Most complementary currencies are also local currencies and are limited to a certain region.

Barters are another type of alternative currency. These are actually exchange systems, which only trade items; thus without the use of any currency whatsoever. Finally, LETS is a special form of barter which trades points for items. One point stands for one worker-hour of work.

Often there are issues related to paying tax. Some alternative currencies are considered tax-exempt, but most of them are fully taxed as if they were national currency, with the caveat that the tax must be paid in the national currency. The legality and tax-status of alternative currencies varies widely from country to country; some systems in use in some countries would be illegal in others.”

I have been at a few points over the past few years feeling torn or seeing the choices between two worlds of value. In one there is very little currency or money, and in the other a lot of currency or currencies going on. In one there is very little fair trade or love, and in the other a lot of fair trade and love. I turned away from all of them into my own way. I ran to stand still. I saw love in the darkest places, places we are not taught it exists, the ones like where I live where people turn away from people because of perceptions and judgments.

I have learnt anyone can live without money, if they have other ways of obtaining all the resources they desire. Unfortunately, because of the way the western world functions on currency as power, as a means to ALL ends, many of us perceive our own value … the value of the heart, the soul, the spirit, the body itself …based on how we look presentable in all situations or under all circumstances no matter how different (and that costs a lot of currency or energy exchange that once one applies physically is not fair at all). This perception presents a dilemma of ‘am I worthy?’ and of ‘what is my capacity worth? Because of these perceptions I actually spent most of my life pushing people who cared, especially family, who gave me money away. I had no regard for it.

From my experience, of going alone into the mountains to live with a few people on and off the land who I did not know, with no money or idea what next, I can attest to the fact that these perceptions also affected the value of what I received in trades. I had good reasons to wonder between systems and ways of life, to never settle for any of it until love found me. Suppose you read a few books, and begin to forage for food – eating medicinal weeds such as plantain or purselane for example. You become good at this, so good in fact that you are no longer going to the shops for greens or any kind of food. You consider your accommodation and begin to build a house, but the work takes time and energy from foraging for food, recreating the need to go shopping. Imagine clothing, growing the cotton, spinning it, creating cloth, sewing it – all of it… Life can become stressful and cumbersome very quickly in that way. Not to mention the adjustments in the body, aches and pains one never even considered existing… Now if you are in the mountains with snowy tops in winter, like I was, alone, no money, no people, in a tent with all your clothing on and your body sore from the weight of that and the two blankets you have; anyone handing you a R100 note or bread or anything really is an illusion to hold onto. Alternative currency or money is literally what we balance our capacity to become super powerful or deserving of instead of human rights. Im pretty sure I would have preferred a nice big fluffy duvet on a comfy bed, not exactly something I could carry alone. In a weird way alternative currency or money does create community, because we come together to trade based on different reasoning, and we need each other to complete the trade.

In my experience I learnt to let go of material things, to not need that many t-shirts or dresses, only two pairs of shoes, use everything to its potential, recycle, upcycle and be practical. It was beautiful, like some hippy arty fairy me was wild at play in such a world, but I was alone mostly in giving without want, receiving only to fulfill need. I awakened to a sadness being walked at or bumped into in the shops so whoever bumped me could get to something on a shelf first or without hesitation, picking up items almost glowing at the thought of how good they look with this but don’t deserve it because it is not affordable…. Hmmm and value of self? It cannot be determined by a currency or material possession. Neither can the value of love.

I was also awakened to anxiety, empathy and judgment on both a conscious and sub-conscious level. I wonder at the shame that I would not love myself enough to have a variety of everything to choose from at all times, or more that I could not even afford a packet of rizlas to roll natural tobacco in? The insanity that somehow I deserved this punishment to have to stop smoking, to rejoice also because of it, of being cut off…I was awakened to gratitude. I was awakened to loss. I withdrew from the system, wanting the hug or the eye contact from loved ones instead of the hundred rand notes. I cried asking for these things. I saw many alone right next to their partners, right next to their mothers and brothers and friends, so alone, so disconnected. I tried an alternative currency or two, ended up trading more than using any of these systems of value. I got angry. I wanted a variety of foods I couldn’t afford. I wanted more than I had the capacity to trade for. I got lost. I fell in love. I felt the loss of love without currency and the loss of love with currency. I am silenced in the anxiety of these separations… that so much is lost just because of lack of either capacity in one world or currency in another. I shed so many tears for those people so alone, and for the humility and conformity within me that surfaces because of love, though I might have lost it.

I have learnt that money is just an exchange system. It is as efficient a way of trading goods and services as any other alternative currency e.g bitcoin, talents, ebucks, starbucks… the list goes on and on and more and more alternatives arise. These are just perceptions of value but never the value itself. Ive heard so many people say , ‘My time is worth more as a call out because the client is rich’. Ive seen good rich people honored in my slum so to speak. Ive seen people judge and turn away from people they connect with, with and without words based on perceptions of currency being value and capacity.

There is so much confusion about what I do at Pirates, you would have to really stalk me or walk a bit with me to know completely. I am growing in all ways. I want to sit in restaurants and watch movies, step into my power again, LIVE. I want to create a life where the price of my organic food and medicine is not a concern, I want to share what I know and I have done my best with this blog… but I do need to make money or a alternative currency in order to make society, past friends and family perceive my capacity and my value to far outweigh the value of where I sleep at the moment. At least where I sleep is only acceptance in whatever form my wallet is in. I live in my body and want to make a home.

This journey over the past 7 years of my life has led me here, through all the circles, to Pirates ground to see so many things from so many perspectives… to hoe out all anger, all my awakenings, and wonder yes I wondered why no one has put me in a straight jacket or given me a means to continue more efficiently… yet nothing can really manifest unless I am clear … and now that Im clear about this worlds perception of capacity and value I am choosing to conform and chase the money instead. I am tired of getting half measures, lack of commitment, second hand everything you can imagine. Unfortunately, I will lose a lot of love and respect because of this change in me. I hope we all grow together no matter which form of exchange is preferred. I choose to always base my capacity and value on the state of my being – mind, soul, spirit, body. I choose one world because all of them actually have this same perception in all of the different worlds of different groups exchanging alternative currencies and trading.

In this world it is as simple as if you are good at one thing it comes from practice, for this reason its best to focus on one or two things only which is something you can always exchange for goods and services or use money. I have never focused, but I am working on it.

I have no money again so do show some support and buy something so I can grow more herbs or paint or write or restore something and pay some rent. I am sure that all the pages on this blog can indicate some kind of capacity and value I possess.