This past 5 month experience of trips from Johannesburg to the Fountain Farm in Mpumalanga, and back every two weeks, have taught me many things about farming, people, myself and of course plants 
I have even developed a code of conduct in business – fair trade, honesty and good communication are key elements for sure.
I have a lot to write about, at some point, especially all the people and experiences out there. For now I feel it necessary to explain a small part of the decision I have made to resign from working as I have been with these employers and employees of the farm. The way we work and do not work must change or end completely. They have been teachers in many ways, for which I am eternally grateful. I came along and got a lot going and done, and restored some things in them, at least I think so and I am hopeful that this farm will continue to grow and sustain itself. How it grows and how it continues to grow is not my decision to make. My decision to leave the way we work and the work we do, has not been an easy one. I have really had to look within deeply and clear away a lot of my own anger and judgment in order to find and ground myself.
I have learnt that some people, in some kind of effort to be independent or self less or whatever it is, see people as objects or pawns in a game of chess. It is all about networking, putting people into positions where things are more beneficial for the person paying for all the networking. I can understand the logic in numbers, but people seem to forget that people are human. People feel, some people actually look within and find their core, outer influences like the system we all feel we are lifted up by because of numbers in accounts instead of the system we all feel is really going to shit… our earth, our integrity…damaged. I believe we have so much crime and hate and hurt because people do this, they suppress themselves in the process too because they look in the mirrors and judge all the time instead of looking within. If people were working in jobs they could just live from their core in, then, perhaps, we would have less crime and more good judgment
It seems rather manipulative. I have felt this way about many who have come to my garden at Pirates and paid me to go give advice and do the same for them in various places. My journey got way more interesting and exciting when opportunities like this arose; it grounded me in many ways.
I am always made to believe that there is some kind of business opportunity to do with my teas, once I have done what I am paid for. I am always questioned on permaculture methods I keep saying I have not got time to look into. I always make it clear I want to sell and grow tea I always end up showing people how to do what I do for more people, and in the end I am more drawn to the ideas I have cultivated for over 2 years around the garden at the Pirates Sports Club in Johannesburg. I know that at the end of the day I will still be selling, making and growing medicinal tea and infusions I know that I will come and go for a while still – where to is yet to be determined. I know that I have to work for money and whatever other system of trading exists, and create a balanced, kind of balanced income – I guess we all need that. I have learnt money buys anything that exists whereas all these other alternatives still need to catch up and change the value systems they function in… and this is why money is most widely accepted in trades.
I am at most fortunate in the garden to have the best assistance ever from Nature, and can be taken away to consult, teach, learn with anyone and advice can be given from afar if communication is utilized with pictures, videos and words. If I ever meet people serious about farming my teas I may very well be able to become the next Tea Merchant, for now I must sit down and listen again… I must be where I am grounded. I feel this is in my garden, and that working toward farming around it for local restaurants and home owners, while I make my teas is 100% healing and restorative.
I find that the stress and bullshit surrounding joining the way people function in the so called system or city life in general that is just considered the way success looks??? Anyway, I find the stress and pseudoscience of it all really just takes me away from my core, who I am. I do not want to monoculture anything or turn away my neighbor, while I send what they need away for money, imagine if the neighbors did the same. I remember starting to cry on one of these trips, in a heated discussion on how to do the garden there … and I said, “It’s a bit insane to me I have always asked the earth and seed for its blessings and thanked it when they come, and in farming or planning a business of farming to sustain families, done must tell the earth and seed what to give, it is sad that we do not trust it.”
I am learning to be humble, to accept that I need to work with people alot – despite my virtually life-long introverted, hermit lifestyle. I am learning that it is not worth it to give up sustaining and maintaining my own efforts in my own garden. I am learning that everyone is reasonable, except they have their own reasons and that, in fact, gardening is an art form. This garden, just like artwork, done in public, results in people thanking me, questioning me, taking me to go do it there because mine is fine, and I can teach and do it there and then and then and then…. (those who have done me wrong, misplaced me or whatever that was about will know some of the true impact that all of this has had on all of us)
My dream was to eat healthy food with energy still in it, to get up off my feet, stronger and purify myself on all levels before I die. My dream included a community of people learning, trading and sharing with me… and man alive, it does become a nightmare when I drift too far from where it is all grounded in my garden. It really is a different experience doing it for money for and with someone else, somewhere else. For all of these reasons, and more, I am only willing to consult and manage anyone else’s garden anywhere in this world and not willing to become their middleman or breadwinner. Here are, in fact, hundreds of people without jobs too. I started doing this in public mainly because I wanted a community here. Some, like Joseph, worked with me to learn without being paid money, but food instead. Mandla came to me today again to work for food alone.
I feel like I really have had to do this and to speak up, and I walk away with a great sadness and hope that you all find your way.
I will see you in the garden, I look forward to whatever journey it leads me on.
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